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Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-Tier Items

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Pieceofshit

The SORD..... the beginning of it all.

Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-tier is an unofficial title used to universally tag any and all objects that look as if they are from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, or in other words, look really shitty and often times yield the opposite result of what is desired, such as weapons actually making your attack power lower than what it would be even without a weapon.

How to MakeEdit

The most common way to make a SBaHJ-tier item is simply by alchemizing the Picture of Hella Jeff with whatever object you wish to SBaHJ-ify. However, this is not always the case; some SBaHJ-tier items could be alchemized even further into newer, slightly-less-shitty upgrades. Such as alchemizing the SORD..... with the Steel Bar to create the STELE SORD.....

Known SBaHJ-Tier ItemsEdit

Picture of Hella Jeff [Base]
Picture of Hella Jeff

Look at this smug bastard. It's almost as if he knows how much you'll regret alchemizing him.

  • Description: It's a picture of one of the characters from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. You would do well to heed his warnings regarding stairs.
  • Note: This item may or may not count as an actual SBaHJ-tier item, as it's just a regular picture of the character and doesn't have any reality-bending aspects of JPEG artifacts in real life, odd physics, etc. It's sorta like a door to a toy shop. A shitty toy shop.
  • Code: WN6?TpMT


Kringlefucker
Kringlefuckercard

Captchalogued Kringlefucker

  • Description: This thing is so unspeakably shitty you are having a hard time getting rid of it. But why would you want to? It's the prettiest christmas tree you've ever seen.


pewn (Chess Set && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Description: pawns dont DOO that you chumpstick.


Known SBaHJ-Tier WeaponsEdit

SORD..... (Shitty Sword && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstratus: bladekind
  • Strength: -5
  • Assault penalty: -1
    Stelesordcard

    Captchalogued STELE SORD.....

  • Description: This thing is so unspeakably shitty you are having a hard time even holding it.
  • Code: 0I0Y5nML


STELE SORD..... (SORD..... || Steel Bar)

  • Abstratus: bladekind
  • Strength: 58
  • Aggrieve penalty: -25
  • Aggress penalty: -27
  • Assail penalty: -30
  • Assault penalty: -33
  • Abuse penalty: -12
  • Accuse penalty: -10
  • Abjure penalty: -7
  • Abstain penalty: -5
  • Code: Fw2cDtNL
  • Description: A surprisingly decent upgrade to the SORD. Still looks like shit though.

hOPY shIT (Dragon Trench Coat && H.E.V. mark V Suit)

  • Abstabus: foodkind, jpegkind
  • Strength: -9999
  • Size: ginormous
  • Description: the SHIT pile doesn't stop form getting TALLEr....
  • Code: 01040000


Mothrefukrekcard

Captchalogued mothrefukrek

 mothrefukrek........ (Hatchet || Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: axekind
  • Strength: -9999
  • Description: Perfect for fucking one's mother, or that of a friend.


BROME (Broom && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: broomkind
  • Strength: 10
  • Aggrieve penalty: -20
  • Aggress penalty: -20
  • Assail penalty: -20
  • Assault penalty: -20
  • Abuse penalty: -20
  • Accuse penalty: -20
  • Abjure penalty: -20
  • Abstain penalty: -20
  • Description: Let's be honest here. If you use this, you're only going to make things worse.


BROOOM...... (Broom || Picture of Hella Jeff)
Brooom

Captchalogued BROOOM......

  • Abstrabus: broomkind
  • Strength: -15
  • Description: What are you holding. What the HELL ARE YOU HOLDING? YUO HVAVE THE POWER BROENHEIM....


i HAVE the card (Blackjack Deck && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: cardkind
  • Strength: -5000
  • Description: the sock ruse was.... A DISTACTION


hellzamonzensy cuin (Nickle || Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: coinkind
  • Strength: -4
  • Abstain bonus: 8
  • Abjure penalty: -6
  • Description: A weird coin with the imprint of Hella Jeff on it.


KRAMPISS (Kringlefucker && Fancy Santa)
Krampiss

Captchalogued KRAMPISS

  • Abstrabus: fancysantakind
  • Strength: -9999
  • Description: Just when you thought it couldn't get any more festive/terrible, you've devised a fanciful santa that clips through walls and pretty much any immediate surface. It also smells like weed.


HAmorr (Claw Hammer && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: hammerkind
  • Strength: 30
  • Aggrieve penalty: -12
  • Aggress penalty: -14
  • Assail penalty: -16
  • Assault penalty: -18
  • Abuse penalty: -18
  • Accuse penalty: -16
  • Abjure penalty: -14
  • Abstain penalty: -12
  • Description: A Sbahjified cartoon mallet that seems to hit where ever you aren't actuall aiming it. It tends to have a defective attraction to banging your best bro's mom.


gUITARD.......... (Electric Guitar || Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: instrumentkind
  • Strength: -3
  • Aggrieve bonus: 3
  • Description: A lopsided green guitar. No matter what you do it seems to always be hideously out of tune. WOAWW BWEE!


VUVUVZUELVA (Clarinet && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: instrumentkind
  • Strength: -10
  • Aggrieve bonus: 20
  • Description: BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
  • Code: 0L6y1mIK


DEUDLY FIREARMS...... (Hard-Boiled Revolver && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: pistolkind
  • Strength: 1000
  • Description: Are you next?


rifl (Rifle && Picture of Hella Jeff)

Rifl

Captchalogued rifl

  • Abstrabus: riflekind
  • Strength: -100
  • Assault bonus: 1
  • Abuse bonus: 1
  • Abstain bonus: 1
  • Aggrieve penalty: -100
  • Aggress penalty: -100
  • Assail penalty: -200
  • Accuse penalty: -100
  • Abjure penalty: -100
  • Description: This thing is so shitty you're surprised it can even fire... but when it does, it floats away due to knockback and weight physics throwing in the towel.


SBAHA CROSHAR'S (Ahab's Crosshairs && Picture of Hella Jeff)

Sbahacroshars

Captchalogued SBAHA CROSHAR'S

*Abstrabus: riflekind
  • Strength: -9999
  • Aggrieve penalty: -9999
  • Aggress penalty: -9999
  • Assail penalty: -9999
  • Assault penalty: -9999
  • Abuse penalty: -9999
  • Accuse penalty: -9999
  • Abjure penalty: -9999
  • Abstain penalty: -9999
  • Description: The most legendary, most piece of shitty legendary piece of shit ever.
  • Code: 076ED300


LAZOR (Laser Pointer && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Abstrabus: Sciencekind
  • Strength: -234
  • Assault penalty: -8444
  • Description: The "lazors" this thing emits travel at around walking speed, and tend to bend off at weird angles after a few meters. You are fairly certain light isn't supposed to work this way.


...SYTH (Replica Reaper Scythe && Picture of Hella Jeff)
SYTHcard

Captchalogued ...SYTH

  • Abstrabus: scythekind
  • Strength: 250
  • Aggrieve penalty: -500
  • Aggress penalty: -500
  • Assail penalty: -500
  • Assault penalty: -500
  • Abuse penalty: -500
  • Accuse penalty: -500
  • Abjure penalty: -500
  • Abstain penalty: -500
  • Description: The unhallowed weapon of the JPEG REPAER


BLUINDERBUS..... (Shotgun && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Bluinderbus

Captchalogued BLUINDERBUS.....

  • Abstrabus: shotgunkind
  • Strength: -888
  • Aggrieve penalty: -88
  • Aggress penalty: -88
  • Assail penalty: -88
  • Assault penalty: -88
  • Abuse penalty: -88
  • Accuse penalty: -88
  • Abjure penalty: -88
  • Abstain penalty: -88
  • Description: You aren't actually going to shoot this, right?


DISTACTION (Lonesome Sock || Picture of Hella Jeff)
Distaction

Captchalogued DISTACTION

  • Abstrabus: footwearkind
  • Strength: -2395
  • Aggrieve bonus: 2394
  • Abuse bonus: 2394
  • Description: AGAIN with the socks what IS it even with you and the SOCKS MAN


Known SBaHJ-Tier WearablesEdit

hella JEFF shird (T-shirt && Picture of Hella Jeff)
Hellajeffshird

Captchalogued hella JEFF shird

  • Location: Bodygear
  • Defense bonus: -3
  • Description: he warned you about the staris bro. and now he can warn you on your shirt all day........


SUTT (Formal Suit && Picture of Hella Jeff)

  • Location: Bodygear
  • Defense bonus: -9999
  • Description: FOR CLASSEY POPEL ONLY.....
  • Code: WH0CKoM5


Known SBaHJ-Tier ConsumablesEdit

nachons [Base]

  • Description: These reduse hit points......
    Nachonscard

    Captchalogued nanchons

  • Message: You eat the nachons. just how HIGH do you have to BE to do something like that?
  • Effect: Seemingly nothing.


Froot Gushers - XTrEM Nacho Cheese Concussion flavour (nachons || Fruit Gushers - Massive Tropical Brain Hemorrhage flavour)
Nachocheesegushercard

Captchalogued Froot Gushers - XTrEM Nacho Cheese Concussion flavour

  • Description: A pack of fruit gushers consisting solely of yellow-orange colored gushers with a nacho cheese flavoured center. Surprisingly they don't taste half bad, but the packaging is covered in jpeg artifacts for some reason. Plus you're sure the name is slightly misspelled.
  • Message: You eat the cheesy candy. Aside from some slight artifacting, they taste great!
  • Effect: Restores a moderate amount of health.

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